Imagine

So.. Things are so crazy and time passes so fucking fast.

I finally find some piece in me. His presence makes me calm. Just to know Im the one his gonna end his day with every night.

All this process heart my sis. I dont think I could ever repay for this. atleast not in the close future..

the weird thing is.. I dont know if I want her to forgibe me.. Because that means I'll have to say Im sorry.. and sincirly? I'm -DONE- lying. I AM NOT SORRY. I mean- I do sorry for putting her through all this shit and hurting her like this.. But Im not sorry for following my heart.

I really didnt planned falling in love.. not so fast' and not for losing my best friend price. But- I just couldnt stop thinkining about him. He became The spice in my life He became the first thouth when I wake up and the hug Im looking for when Im fallin' asleep.

So.. Really done some seroius shit.

I Hope she'll find away to trust humans. because I guess I kinda ruined that for her..

I hope Im not going to get karma kicking me exaclly in the belly.the thing is.. I feel like I deserve to lose everything. and feeling like this makes me distructive. to myself mostlly..

I know I have alot. I should appreciate it I know. Be gratefull for what you have and that will be enough for you for now.. the thing is nothing is really enough- never. and I allways want more. more from everything. more sex more drugs more love more money more food more sweets more smokes more ppl telling you how great yuou are by liking your stupid photos/posts..

This world- I think- will come to an apocaliptic end some time soon- really we just need to keep going exaclly like we are right now- with all the hate jeullosy judgemantal being- we are distroing ourselves with our bear hands.

Each one in his little bedroom and We all together with this culture- of Replacing it instead of fixing it..

I miss studying. I'm dumb for quiting. Should have atleast finish this year. but know.. my toro side is especially stuburn exaclly in the wrong times... instead of standing up for the bad things that happend- should have keep studying -

But I just couldnt keep my minds of him- no matter how mucj Ive tried. and I did .

Belive me ITS NOT ideal for me AT ALL to fall in love with him.but it is what it is.

I really hope he really loves me back.. cause I fill like my heart  gonna burst out my chest whenever he just looks at me with his big round eyes.

anyway- I Do mind walking this road by myself- but I rather alone and spectacullar - Then with anyone that makes me feel sorry for who I am.

You make me proud for who I am.

I Love you.

anyway- that covered alot- hmm not really but this was indeed a vortex probablly not understandable for any one but me but- It is for me soo Cheers ^^